Tug of War

You know what’s fucked up? How you can give a person your all and they still play you in the end. They expect you to be understanding but who said the heart is an understanding organ? That’s not a trait of the heart. Like how many people had plans tomorrow but their heart stopped today? Ain’t no understanding! How many people have children that need them, a family, a friend, a job to go to but their heart was like “so you want me to understand why? Nice explanation but sorry, not today.” Hearts were never meant to understand; the brain though, that’s an understanding organ. That’s why the mind and heart are constantly at war. Love will drive your mind crazy and you’ll want to quit but you won’t. love will break your fucking heart time and time again but because your heart doesn’t understand it’ll allow you to love again. Like why? Why, heart, why would you allow me to go through this pain again? You ever tell yourself that you’ll never love again and you mean it? Like you really mean the shit! Like there is no way on this green Earth I’ll EVER do that dumb shit again… That’s your mind talking. Your mind understands pain; your heart doesn’t until it’s too late. And even then your heart doesn’t get it because you fall again. And each time you fall it seems like you fall harder than before… It’s like that’s the only time your heart and mind work together, when you’re having nostalgic moments of the last time. You remember then the pain strikes your heart again. Ain’t that some shit, your heart can remember but it can’t understand, ha! But you know what’s really fucked up? When the person that causes you all this pain is doing so because their heart and mind are battling as well. Like their heart is doing some shit that they don’t understand but they can’t stop it. Their heart is remembering and it starts to feel good and feel right even though their mind understands that they’re about to fuck up and fuck you up in the process! Like why? Why!

This damn emotional heart of mine just wants everything to feel good and be right but my mind is telling me it won’t happen in this situation and I should just keep moving. How can my heart and brain be in the same body and not listen to each other? Who else do you have to listen to? Heart who has your attention, who’s distracting you from brain? And brain, dude, get it together. Please explain to heart why y’all need to work together, figure this shit out and quick! I really can’t take too much more of your disagreements. I can’t take this heartbreaking feeling anymore…



Grind so hard until at night you dream your dreams

And when you wake up you begin to see your dreams

When you breathe you inhale your dreams

And when you exhale then out you breathe

All of the negativity, hate, and criticism you’ve received

And stored in you cerebellum

Clear it out

Free your mind

Then get back to the grind

2009’s Great Depression

Rain drops on a sunn day? Isn’t it strange?
Like ice cream toppings under the sundae!
What is God trying to tell us with rain drops on a sunny day?
I think He’s saying even when you’re having a great day, someone is not.
While you’re feeling on top of the world, 
an innocent child was just shot- WAR
When you get that raise next week,
it will be an innocent father of three’s last week- LAY OFFS
When you graduate next May,
it will be an innocent girls due date- RAPE
So don’t complain about rain drops on a sunny day
Just pray
Because one day the sun will shine on your rainy day